Paintings by Neil Conrad
3Dec/09

zenith/nadir

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in the bar/restaurant getting acquainted with the co-workers after a really long shift at another bar/restaurant.

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the first of the month marks some kind of a change in the sumi, and if there isn't one, I'll force it just on principle.  November was pretty light in quantity.  I'd go into the health of slowing but I'm not sure I buy that less is more crap.  seems like the more I work the better the chances of getting something good.  or something revealing.  that's the priority.  painting pretty pictures is a bore.  I want to find something out.  something that I didn't even suspect.  It can take some time on that,  understanding what's in the thing  but I like new work whether I understand it or not.  and just to see something new.  Like coming home from shopping.  there's tons of work that no one has ever seen besides me.  like having a closet full of clothes I've never worn yet.  I have that.  Blogging helps.  but it's kind of a struggle.  Hard to know what to write, what to cut, what pictures to post.  there's so much that I want to put up from the last 4 years.  8 years...  15.

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this drawing is the opener for another post I've been cutting and augmenting for days now.  after starting the blog and the color my rhythm and pace is off.  putting stuff off.  finally dated the oct drawings.  yea!  only thing left is Dec of '08.  there's 200 pieces.  I just bundled them like bad mortgages.  some of the best things in there.  some really raw.  I keep delaying.  I have to force myself to post drafts.  never satisfied.  this is a new post so I can continue revising the old one.  that's gotten to be the theme lately.  Revision.  I remember calling this kind of behavior neurotic.  it's not really...  not when I do it.

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some of these drawings won't mean anything to me until I've looked at them for a while.  I shouldn't tell anyone things like that.  neither should you... you shouldn't be looking at this site...    you should be ashamed of yourself.

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end of the month revision,  the color, well,  people were so thrilled that it got to be a priority.  me too.  now i could care less.  that's what I'm telling myself.  I think I saw too much in one of the paintings.  don't want to talk about it.  That happens with the drawings too but I've gotten used to it.  seeing it in bl & white.  seeing it in color is a whole other matter.   I like to do the sumi ink so much.  I did a piece that was a drawing in color.  it's a real first-class turn off.  I haven't touched the acrylics since.

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the print didn't seem to need much so I tried to hold back.  but that was just temporary.

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